Heist Skit

MARTY

Is this legal?

CECIL

Course it is. Now shut up.

MARTY

Why are we wearing masks then?

CECIL

I value my privacy. Hand me the blowtorch.

MARTY

You never told mom you owned a bank.

CECIL

I don’t talk to mom anymore.

MARTY

She always said you were a real loser.

CECIL

Uh huh.

MARTY

She said you’d never amount to anything.

CECIL

Take this. Lemme pull the bars off.

MARTY

She said you’d wind up being somebody’s bitch in prison.

CECIL

This is why I don’t talk to mom. Give me the code cracker. Box with all the buttons on it.

MARTY

OK. It’s her birthday next week.

CECIL

Here we go.

MARTY

Why don’t you have a key?

CECIL

Told you. I lost it.

MARTY

But…

CECIL

And i forgot the combination and passwords.

MARTY

That seems kinda irresponsible, Cecil.

CECIL

DO you have any idea how many passwords I have?

MARTY

I have two.

CECIL

Ha! More than that. Just a few more seconds.

MARTY

Three?

CECIL

97. Yes! Gimme a hand. Push.

MARTY

Wow. This is a really big vault.

CECIL

Start filling your bags. Put’em on the cart, yeah? 

MARTY

Look at all the money and gold an’ shiny stuff.

CECIL

Less gawking, more stuffing.

MARTY

Can I give this gold watch to mom?

CECIL

No. No gifts for mom!

MARTY

She likes watches.

CECI

So? She never got me anything for my birthday.

MARTY

She got you socks.

CECIL

Socks don’t count. 

MARTY

We should get her something.

CECIL

No. Okay. Fine. You wanna give her something? She can have the damn blowtorch.

MARTY

Aw, c’mon, Cecil. You know they won’t let her have a blowtorch in prison.