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| John Martin's rendition of Pandemonium. |
After the completion of their kick-ass capital Pandemonium, the
swaggering Princes and Kings of Hell spread out across the blasted
wastes of the Infernal Realm to establish their own fiefdoms, building
holdfasts over thermal vents for warmth. Contrary to popular belief,
much of Hell will freeze your balls off.
Although seemingly indestructible (they could reconstitute themselves
from information wave alone-- structure that organizes matter), without
God's aura, they became lethargic and damn hard to get off the couch.
So for a quick mana boost, they turned to eating their neighbours.
Cannibalism became de rigueur and dinner invitations took on an added
meaning. Finally a primitive agricultural system was established, and
everyone chilled out. Importing human souls to feed upon began with the
giant and ornery Nephilim, offspring of Watchers and human females.
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| Angels wallow in the Lake of Fire |
Hell stretches out from the balmy shores of the Lake of Fire into the
frozen continent of Sobor. Populated by choleric chimeras, scheming
gorgons, bad-ass basilisks, scyllas, and uber-territorial dragons, it
was a dangerous hood for individual demons. It had to be tamed like an
unruly head of hair. Mowed. Paved.
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| Fallen angels survey the wastes of Hell; drawing by Dore |
Satan, being preoccupied with Eden and screwing God over, sent his
trusted lieutenant Beelzebub 'Fly-Face' to pacify it. In his absence the
First Magisterium was formed, consisting of 12 of the most powerful
demons: Moloch, Dagon, Chemos, Rimmon, Thammuz, Baalim, Ashtoreth,
Astarte, Izooze, Ozeroth, Orut, and Belial; Satan was the unofficial
thirteenth member. These were the biggest, baddest, scenery-eating
demons, and Satan wanted them were he could see 'em.
Each founded a Royal House and began begating at a frightening pace; the
little hellions sired then set about expanding the fief of their
progenitor.
The Magisterium rashly adopted the Animus Creed, which affirmed evil
as Hell's good ('Evil be Thou My Good'). This made cooperation
impossible: it became screw or be screwed and all order collapsed.
Servants stopped serving. Guards made off with the silverware. Thinking
better of it, the decree was rescinded and the more restrained
Pandemonium Creed, advocating opposition to God 'The Fascist Father',
was adopted in its place.
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| Satan addresses Hell's Parliament |
Next time: Demons stir the shizz!
