Thursday 1 August 2013

Movie Rating Mania: This is the End, Iron Man III, and Haywire

Affable, comedian doofuses try to survive The Apocalypse. It's a plotless, self-indulgent home movie pumped up with blockbuster quality effects, but also intermittently hilarious in a juvenile, crude way.

Better watched with beer, pretzels, and some buddies. That's how they wrote it. Well. Plus pot. And maybe some coke. Not sure if prostitutes were involved, but it is Hollywood.

Cinema Worthiness: 3
Character: 6.5
Story: 4
Action: 2
Costume Design: Whatever was on hand
Production Design: 5
Visual Effects: 7
Plot holes: Just add to the fun
Funny: 7.5 

Where The Avengers was two thirds punching and one third wit, Iron Man III is two thirds wit and one third punching. Robert Downey Junior owns the role and elevates this effects-fest above the competition almost single handedly.

He excels at being a charming, brilliant, flippant dick.

Cinema Worthiness: 7.5
Characters: 7 (Robbie 9)
Story: 5
Action: 7.5
Costume Design: 7
Production Design: 8
Visual Effects: 8.5
Plot holes: Large but you can weave between them
Funny: 6.5 (Mostly Downey, but others get some precious lines)

Bare bones revenge plot serves as an excuse to serve up fight scenes. You get plenty of them, and lead Gina Carano is convincing as a tough, sexy, female assassin. When she beats someone up, you can believe it.

Stylish but forgettable.

The material doesn't give Carano much chance to act, but if she can, she'd be a great Wonder Woman.

Cinema Worthiness: 5
Character: There were characters?
Story: 3.5
Action: 9
Costume Design: 5
Production Design: 5
Visual Effects: 7.5
Plot holes: There was a plot? Oh yeah...
Funny: 3